IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while ​ others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #decisions #company #employees #process
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that workers must participate in decision-making in
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 whilst others disagree and think superintendents only should decide the solution. With the rise of human rights and
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
show examples
 of ergonomic conditions at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, employees want to influence on
company
Use synonyms
’s future, but people have different opinions about that. I tend to stay by opinion, that relevant staff members are in charge to stand equally with bosses and
also
Linking Words
 add their two cents. Authorities ruling the job field, discussing the solution with high qualified men and women, without a doubt, navigate the pride where they and common workers above simultaneously cooperate. Apparently, the significant burden lies on
shoulders
Correct article usage
the shoulders
show examples
, which make
decisions
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. Regularly, conventional workers aren't supposed to do problem-solving. So that’s why managers aren’t convinced about their
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
, because there is already appointed staff specified exactly on that problem. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of that, the conclusion confirms faster when several individuals are involved. But when all the
company
Use synonyms
 members give their opinion, the final result after collecting all data might well formulate way later.
For example
Linking Words
,
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
show examples
 and his surrounding can all agree
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 option in one meeting, while assembling all thoughts may
last
Linking Words
 for few days.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it is critical for a corporation to consult its employees before making any major
decisions
Use synonyms
. Without a doubt, the opinions of members of an organization are so valuable that they play a significant influence in the decision-making process. The choice is more likely to be correct since it avoids overconfidence bias, which an individual suffers from. The choice is more likely to be correct because it avoids overconfidence bias, which occurs when an individual
decision maker
Add a hyphen
decision-maker
show examples
 trusts his own judgment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, before making a decision, the group of employees discussing the topic will benefit from exchanging knowledge, which can help to expand understanding, clarify issues, and advance toward a collective decision. To summarize, while
decisions
Use synonyms
 made by a single individual can benefit a
company
Use synonyms
 significantly, I believe that making
decisions
Use synonyms
 with the participation of a group would be a better approach.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • top-down approach
  • hierarchical structure
  • grassroots level
  • strategic planning
  • on-the-ground experience
  • inclusive management
  • employee engagement
  • democratic process
  • transparency
  • cohesion
  • morale
  • practical insights
  • long-term goals
  • mutual respect
  • resistance to change
  • team dynamics
  • broader perspective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: