IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people’s #health #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, there have been a lot of discussions about
health
Use synonyms
 and whether it is going to improve or not. In my opinion, I think that
people
Use synonyms
 will become unhealthier in the
future
Use synonyms
 than they are now. There are many reasons that support the idea of
people
Use synonyms
 becoming unhealthy in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one reason is that of
food
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 tend to eat more fast
food
Use synonyms
 nowadays. They tend to treat themselves with sweets and chocolate whenever they want.
This
Linking Words
 appears to be because
people
Use synonyms
 are busier now than they used to be. So,
people
Use synonyms
 don’t have a chance to cook or even learn the art of cookery.
Also
Linking Words
, having a lot of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 can lead to obesity and it could be a serious issue in the
future
Use synonyms
. Another reason is that
technology
Use synonyms
 is developing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Young
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy buying new gadgets and the latest devices.
This
Linking Words
 has a negative impact on their
health
Use synonyms
, especially when they enjoy video games. Spending long hours looking at a screen can lead to bad eyesight and obesity as well. Yet another reason is that laziness is a big issue. Different forms of
exercise
Use synonyms
 might disappear in the
future
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 don’t like sports.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer spending most of their time on the internet and the internet is growing every single day. Other
people
Use synonyms
 might disagree and say that
health
Use synonyms
 will improve in the
future
Use synonyms
. They believe that new sports and new ways to
exercise
Use synonyms
 will appear in the
future
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I don’t think it can happen since the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 spend less time outdoors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
technology
Use synonyms
 will try and help
people
Use synonyms
 improve their
health
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there have been some games released on the Wii console that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
exercise
Use synonyms
 but
technology
Use synonyms
 is developing more in a negative way.
For instance
Linking Words
, many phone industries are developing new applications every day and today’s generation likes to follow every trend.
This
Linking Words
 prevents
people
Use synonyms
to go
Change preposition
from going
show examples
 outside to
exercise
Use synonyms
. They like to spend more time on the internet downloading new programmes or reading
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
show examples
 about celebrities.
This
Linking Words
 affects
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
 badly. In conclusion, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
 is affected negatively by fast
food
Use synonyms
,
technology
Use synonyms
 and sports and it will be a problem in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shubhambhanot29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: