Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.

Some part of
people
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
, that they can make a
noise
as much as they want, while others think differently. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
have the right aspects. If we talk about
people
from the
first
group, we must add that not all
people
are pleased to hear very loud
noise
in public
places
. Those
people
need to make noises in special
places
in which
noise
will not interfere with
people
working or doing something else. Making
noise
in
such
places
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
school or office interrupt from working either studying, so
noise
is suitable only in permitted
places
.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
group of
people
is right too because now every
second
person is intolerant to
noise
.
Noise
slows down the progress of cases in any industry, so
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
must be controlled in workplaces but not in entertainment
places
. I agree
noise
is very annoying sometimes but when it comes to entertainment
noise
make
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
better.
For example
, in a park, the
noise
emanating from
people
creates a cheerful atmosphere and it is already difficult to imagine its absence. In conclusion,
noise
might be good and bad. The main thing is to make
noise
in the right place and in some
places
it is better to keep the
noise
with you
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: