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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.

#people #noise #amount
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Some part of
people
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
, that they can make a
noise
 as much as they want, while others think differently. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 have the right aspects. If we talk about
people
 from the
first
 group, we must add that not all
people
 are pleased to hear very loud
noise
 in public
places
. Those
people
 need to make noises in special
places
 in which
noise
 will not interfere with
people
 working or doing something else. Making
noise
 in
such
places
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 school or office interrupt from working either studying, so
noise
 is suitable only in permitted
places
.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 group of
people
 is right too because now every
second
 person is intolerant to
noise
.
Noise
 slows down the progress of cases in any industry, so
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 must be controlled in workplaces but not in entertainment
places
. I agree
noise
 is very annoying sometimes but when it comes to entertainment
noise
 make
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
 better.
For example
, in a park, the
noise
 emanating from
people
 creates a cheerful atmosphere and it is already difficult to imagine its absence. In conclusion,
noise
 might be good and bad. The main thing is to make
noise
 in the right place and in some
places
 it is better to keep the
noise
 with you
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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