IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #waste #time #money
It is believed that travelling is
important
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an important
show examples
 and significant life experience.
However
, another part of
people
consider
Change the verb form
considers
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 that travelling is lost the
time
 and money.
This
 essay will discuss both arguments in
further
 paragraphs. Primar ily, it is often said that travelling is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 interesting way to explore the world and cultures. It is active tourism, and
people
 do not stay in one place, they are always moving
in
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to
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 different places and explore the locality of
country
Correct article usage
the country
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.
In addition
, travelling gives more emotions than just look the videos or photos of nature. Photos and videos never
gives
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give
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that
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 feelings, which see eyes, it is
static
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a static
the static
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 picture without expressions. In
this
 case, landscapes
such
 as mountains can give happiness and take your breath, the photos
not
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do not
show examples
 have
such
mind blowing
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mind-blowing
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 ability.
Moreover
, tourism
improve
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improves
show examples
 social skills and learn something new by
interruption
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interrupting
show examples
 with other cultural representatives. In fact, that
people
 like different cultures, it is interesting to learn and participate in something new. Not only traditions,
it can
Add the word(s)
but it can also
show examples
 be a language.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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, travelling is
expensive
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an expensive
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 hobby and take a lack of
time
. Tourists are spending a lot of money
in
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on
show examples
 many travelling aspects.
For example
, the costs of plain, hotel and guides
is
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are
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 very high.
People
 can spend
this
 money
for
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on
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 deposits or banks. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is useful spending the
time
 and play
enormous
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an enormous
show examples
 role in socializing, learning the cultures and destroy the barrier between
people
. In conclusion, travelling is
main
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the main
show examples
 hobby of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
people
, they are spending a lot of
time
to explore
Change the verb form
exploring
show examples
 the planet.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 is important for
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 mind,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 is
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
show examples
 pleasure and take a
time
 to move between countries.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: