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Band 4.5

Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience ;others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #waste #time #money
One of the
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of
people
 agrees that going to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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 on the holiday give more experience to
people
,
however
Add a comma
,however
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 another part of humanity believe that it
have
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has
show examples
 not good side on
life
Add an article
the life
a life
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 of
people
 and it just associated with spending money and wasting
time
.
This
 essay will discuss these two arguments. Basically, it is often said that the majority of information
were
Change the verb form
was
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 found at the
time
 of travelling, which nowadays
people
 use
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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as a fact and as an argument.
In addition
, many
people
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history found new information associated with culture and climate when they have a trip and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the final, some of them became famous
inventor
Fix the agreement mistake
inventors
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 or
scientist
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scientists
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. Likely, it means that during the travelling
people
 can learn to speak in
other language
Change the wording
another language
other languages
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also
 can get to know about the culture, history of the country, that it replenishes knowledge.
For instance
, the famous Christopher Columbus discovers new facts and wrote many books when he travels around the world. Anyway, nobody
canceled
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cancelled
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 that the trip needs so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 money in order to travel and it is obvious that journey gets
lot
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a lot
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 of your
time
. Many social factors lead to waste
time
 on emptiness like spending
time
on
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in
show examples
 traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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. To sum up, I personally believe that travelling is
important
Add an article
an important
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 possibility for
people
 to develop in
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 and to become more knowledgeable, that it influences positively
for
Change preposition
apply
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humanity.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
What to do next:
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