In some countries an increasing number of people are soffering from health problem as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Several
people
from some countries have suffered health
disseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
due to fast
food
.
This
essay will show why
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
must
control
de poor quality
food
among their citizens and the importance of creating laws over some
especific
Correct your spelling
specific
food
.
Also
, I will give my opinion at the end of
this
essay.
Firstly
, when
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control
over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
the
quiality
Correct your spelling
quality
of life
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the benefits for the
people
make themselves active and
energectic
Correct your spelling
energetic
. Several developed countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control
over the
food
putting in them rating stars which provide information about the calories and grass inside the
food
, including a little tax which is sent to the health department.
This
kind of action let the
people
think twice about buying some products and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
they will pay for other options more economic and healthier.
On the other hand
, some
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
do not have total
control
over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
because some big companies deny
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
ban to reach their clients.
this
situation
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
when the privileges of earns over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health are more important than the importance of good
food
for the general public.
for instance
, big companies like Mac Donald's has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
some
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in developing countries because they cover all the
food
industries in several cities, increasing the bad
food
behaviour in the
people
and selling their products cheaper than local
food
. In my point of view,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
have
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the way how their citizens eat, putting high taxes will
incourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
buyers to change their bad habits and giving some kind of
control
in the
food
industry to avoid the monopoly of big
food
chains companies. The general society
deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
show examples
to eat more vegetables and healthy
food
.
As a result
,
people
will live longer and happy than generations before.
Submitted by nextor235 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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