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Band 5

Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #waste #time #money
It is believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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main
Add an article
the main
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 aim of travelling is to give
such
 kind of experience and enjoyment that you will never have at home.
However
, it was clear that there is another type of group who believe that travelling is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
time
 which you could spend on training and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money.
This
 essay is going to discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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.
Travel
 allows you to look at life through new lenses and possibly could give answers to our doubts and our concepts about the accustomed
way
 of thinking. . I guess it is clear that
,
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apply
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 travelling allows you to look at familiar and regular things in a completely different
way
.
For example
, each country has
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own history, traditions, customs and cuisines and the moment when you try something new, you actually realize how huge
this
 world is. You understand that pleasure can be obtained not only through the Internet but
also
 by activities and movements because
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to an unknown country is a great
way
 to take yourself out of your comfort zone. As you
travel
, you will realize how little things could make huge afford to get truly happy.
On the other hand
, all of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 activities are nothing more than memory. Frankly, it is completely useless cause you could
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
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 something new
through
Change preposition
in
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 another and more effective
way
. Which will have the greatest impact on you: a week-long trip to the African jungle or weekly walks in the nearby forest? Taking
time
 to walk regularly will give you a stronger connection with nature than on a short trip
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Moreover
, we must admit that Travelling is a waste of
time
,
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apply
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 because you spend a lot of
time
to go
Change the verb form
going
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 from
place
Correct pronoun usage
one place
show examples
 to another, tickets are always expensive and if you
travel
 without your family, you actually could
miss
Correct pronoun usage
itmiss
show examples
. To conclude, I strongly believe that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is the best
way
 to get knowledge and experience.
However
, we need to admit that travelling is not cheap
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
activity and for
this
 pleasure and
experience
Add a comma
,experience
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 you will need
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
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. If you are rich,
then
 you need to
travel
 but either
way
Add a comma
,way
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 it would be better
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 at home.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
What to do next:
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