In some countries it is illegal to refuse people applying for jobs because of their age. Is it a positive or a negative development, in your opinion?

Denying job opportunities on the basis of advanced
age
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is considered a crime in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries.
However
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, in my opinion, it is a negative development because it can affect the
overall
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progress of a nation.
This
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essay will discuss in the first paragraph
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
how old
age
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medical issues have an impact and in the second paragraph how familial responsibilities affect the working capacity of an employee.
Firstly
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, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
advances, a plethora of physical problems hampers the energy level of an individual.
People
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in their old
age
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suffer not only from hypertension, diabetes and joint pain but
also
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from lack of concentration, memory impairment and lethargy.
Therefore
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, work done by
such
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employees most of the time hinders quality
as well as
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punctuality in comparison with the youngsters.
In addition
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to that, an employer may need to bear additional expenses on the health management of their elderly staff, probably more than younger ones. Resultantly
financial
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, financial
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loss happens, which
consequently
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has a considerable negative impact on the economy of a community.
For instance
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, a cooperative bank in my town called ' The Saraswat Bank',
lately
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recently
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retired Mr
Singh
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Singh,
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a
60 years old
Correct your spelling
60-year-old
accountant
because
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, because
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of his
excess
Correct word choice
excessive
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leaves
due to
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fitness issues.
Secondly
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, the life of the aged
people
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is often multifaceted with
owning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
responsibilities of family. Even though they are committed to their jobs, family problems, conflicts
and
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, and
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responsible parenthood sometimes weaken them.
Moreover
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, these
people
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are more intrigued with social interaction and their image, which forces them to be available in social gatherings
such
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as
marriage
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weddings
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and engagement parties.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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life
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the lives
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of elderly
people
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more complicated
,
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;
show examples
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additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
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they are more distracted and indisciplined.
For example
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, Mrs Deshpande in my neighbourhood usually works less than a year in one office because she was
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then
Rephrase
apply
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dismissed by an employer
due to
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intervention
Correct article usage
the intervention
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of her family commitments in her job.
Thus
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,
this
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results in a waste of time and money for the employers and
eventually
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eventually,
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what gets hampered
,
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apply
show examples
is their progress. In conclusion, referring to the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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detrimental effect of appointing
old
Use the right word
old-age
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age
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
is an utterly negative development in my opinion.

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task response
Use a clear, direct answer in the opening paragraph and restate it in the conclusion.
grammar
Limit long sentences and use simple grammar to avoid errors that break meaning.
lexical
Stick to simple vocabulary; avoid long words or jargon not in the top 100 words.
coherence
Improve coherence by using linking words to connect ideas and avoid abrupt shifts.
examples
Provide specific examples with clear ties to your main point, and explain how they support your view.
argument
Clear stance on the topic.
structure
Structured outline with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
content
Effort to give examples to support points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • equal opportunities
  • diverse work environment
  • innovative solutions
  • valuable experience
  • employment rate
  • merit-based hiring
  • qualifications
  • inclusivity
  • respect
  • age groups
  • adapt to new technologies
  • training and support
What to do next:
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