IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives,but few are able to do this. Suggest problems in balancing and some solution for over- coming such problems.

#people #aim #balance #work #activities #lives #over-
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People
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 wish to maintain both their personal and professional
life
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 well.
However
Linking Words
, it is not easy for everyone to achieve
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work-
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
life
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balance
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 in our
life
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. The main reason is that most
people
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 have poor
time
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management
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and a
visable
Correct your spelling
viable
visible
 solution is
to
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top
show examples
priority
Replace the word
prioritize
show examples
 our daily
activities
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 and plan
everyday's
Replace the word
every day's
show examples
 schedules wisely. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 do not know how to use their
time
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 effectively. It is very often that most
people
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 would love to reach
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work-
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
life
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balance
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 in their
life
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.
However
Linking Words
, due to
work
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 or other commitments,
people
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 do not have their spare
time
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 to enjoy their lives other than
work
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. Recent studies have been done by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of South Australia about how effectively working
people
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 have to manage their
time
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 properly, they have interviewed around 500
people
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 and 70% of the interviewers confirmed that they
work
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 extra hours, sleep less than 7 hours and no social
life
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.
This
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 is a good example to show that
people
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 do not have
work
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-
life
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balance
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 can be caused by poor
management
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. Very
smiliar
Correct your spelling
similar
 studies have
also
Linking Words
 been done by Canada, they have
trageted
Correct your spelling
targeted
 10 busy couples to join a month studies by reviewing their daily
activities
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 and
then
Linking Words
 helped them to plan and prioritise their daily tasks. The result has successfully proved that each of the
couple
Change to a plural noun
couples
show examples
 has significantly improved their social
life
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 and they feel happier of their
life
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 than before. In conclusion, poor
time
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management
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 skill is a major problem for
people
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 who are not able to
balance
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 between their
work
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 and other
activities
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. Social
activities
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 can be improved by having a good plan and good
time
Use synonyms
management
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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