Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#move #ocean #creatures #habitat #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people’s #recreation #outweigh

In recent years, people have been inclined to spend their holidays by visiting amusement

parks

because they are able to explore various kinds of

ocean

creatures

in one place. Some argue that it is beneficial to the public if these

animals

are moved from the

ocean

and placed in

parks

while others disagree with

this

contention.

This

essay will discuss why the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. Critics of

this

opinion are of the belief that keeping sea

creatures

in amusement

parks

is more advantageous for the purpose of people's recreation.

Firstly

, the public of all ages can discover unique species and learn about their behaviours, characteristics.

Secondly

, they are likely to experience the connection with mother nature itself. To illustrate, children might be the most beneficial age group because they can easily remember and identify these

animals

by looking at them in

parks

rather than watching visuals in books.

Therefore

, some

belief

Replace the word

believe

show examples

in placing

ocean

creatures

parks

On the contrary

, others do not support

this

statement since not all recreational areas are well developed to be considered a convenient habitat for

ocean

wildlifelife

Correct your spelling

wildlife life

Additionally

, they might be kept in captivity.

Consequently

, it may hamper their growth and health.

Furthermore

, moving

animals

from

ocean

Add an article

the ocean

show examples

will probably create an imbalance in an

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

life cycle. For an instance,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

recent research shows that in the pacific

ocean

Change the article

the

show examples

number of salmon

fishes

Fix the agreement mistake

fish

show examples

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

decreased dramatically which affected other sea

animals

' food

chain

Fix the agreement mistake

chains

show examples

Hence

, some opine that

this

movement

migh

Correct your spelling

might

have more demerits than benefits. In conclusion,

although

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ocean

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

wild life

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

in amusement

parks

can be used for people's recreation, it may disturb an

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

life cycle and deteriorate

animals

' health who are in cages. In my opinion, it is the government's

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

to impose strict rules on the park authorities so that they keep

creatures

in a suitable atmosphere, provide

a healthy food

Remove the article

healthy food

a portion of healthy food

show examples

and do not move them from the

ocean

parks

above

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

Submitted by jaimineekataria123 on Wed Sep 08 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them placed in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what exxtent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society?