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Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

#years #rise #crimes #people #cities
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Juvennile
Correct your spelling
Juvenile
 offences are increasing day by day. Even though pupils are aware
about
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of
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 the laws and
penalities
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penalties
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, the crime rates are rising significantly.
This
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 essay will discuss the major causes and possible solutions for the mentioned issue with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the worst reason
of
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for
show examples
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 issues include
,
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apply
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 unawareness of moral values,
influence
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the influence
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 of social media, peer pressure and lack of parent's attention. To elaborate, the present generation is not aware
about
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of
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 the way of living in a society. It is because of nuclear family adaptation and lack of grandparents care.
Moreover
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, the youngsters are addicted
in
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to
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 social media and exploring both wanted and unwanted things.
In addition
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, most of the students are committing mistakes to prove themselves in front of their friends.
However
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, all these mentioned issues are because of busy couples or working partners, those who
fails
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fail
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 to spend some quality time with their kids. To summarize, if the
parents
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neglects
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neglect
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 their children, without teaching what is right or wrong, the youngster may pool
in
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on
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internet
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the internet
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 and enjoy his freedom in all extreme modes with his classmates, and the result might be shocking.
On the other hand
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, there are some possible solutions to save the pupils from these kinds of evil nature.
First
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,
house
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the house
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 is the
first
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 school for every kid. So, the basic lessons taught by the elders can have a positive impact on the
child
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.
Moreover
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, it helps the
child
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 to become a socially accepted human being in future.
In addition
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, it is good to introduce the advanced technologies to the students, but it will be more fruitful if the
child
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 gets observed when he
use
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uses
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
For instance
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, both
parents
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 and teachers should assist the
child
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 to find a good peer group and correct the
child
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 if he commits any mistake. To summarize, a little attention and basic
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advice
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 from
parents
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 or teachers will help the
child
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 to develop a socially accepted behaviour.
Finally
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, it is the ultimate responsibility of the
parents
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 to monitor their kid's behaviour in each stage of their development. Because
,
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apply
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 the world
need
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needs
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 good humans
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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 criminals.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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