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Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

#years #rise #crimes #people #cities
Juvennile
Correct your spelling
Juvenile
 offences are increasing day by day. Even though pupils are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the laws and
penalities
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penalties
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, the crime rates are rising significantly.
This
 essay will discuss the major causes and possible solutions for the mentioned issue with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the worst reason
of
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for
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues include
,
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apply
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 unawareness of moral values,
influence
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the influence
show examples
 of social media, peer pressure and lack of parent's attention. To elaborate, the present generation is not aware
about
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of
show examples
 the way of living in a society. It is because of nuclear family adaptation and lack of grandparents care.
Moreover
, the youngsters are addicted
in
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to
show examples
 social media and exploring both wanted and unwanted things.
In addition
, most of the students are committing mistakes to prove themselves in front of their friends.
However
, all these mentioned issues are because of busy couples or working partners, those who
fails
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fail
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 to spend some quality time with their kids. To summarize, if the
parents
neglects
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neglect
show examples
 their children, without teaching what is right or wrong, the youngster may pool
in
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on
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and enjoy his freedom in all extreme modes with his classmates, and the result might be shocking.
On the other hand
, there are some possible solutions to save the pupils from these kinds of evil nature.
First
,
house
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the house
show examples
 is the
first
 school for every kid. So, the basic lessons taught by the elders can have a positive impact on the
child
.
Moreover
, it helps the
child
 to become a socially accepted human being in future.
In addition
, it is good to introduce the advanced technologies to the students, but it will be more fruitful if the
child
 gets observed when he
use
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uses
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
, both
parents
 and teachers should assist the
child
 to find a good peer group and correct the
child
 if he commits any mistake. To summarize, a little attention and basic
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 from
parents
 or teachers will help the
child
 to develop a socially accepted behaviour.
Finally
, it is the ultimate responsibility of the
parents
 to monitor their kid's behaviour in each stage of their development. Because
,
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apply
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 the world
need
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needs
show examples
 good humans
not
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,not
show examples
 criminals.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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