IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private healthcare outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #health #person #service #companies #healthcare
As a person's good state of health is getting more valuable, a growing number of people are supporting the position that medical centres and hospitals should be in the government's privacy. I think that the benefits of cheap medical services which authorities have to provide people with are more rewarding for society and undoubtedly outweigh their drawbacks. Even though it may sound promising for the general health care system, there are some contradictions coming with it.
Firstly
, as the government controls and allocate funds from the country's budget it causes the problem of high taxes related to the accessibility of services.
For example
, any need for reconstruction or providing hospitals with new facilities will be directly connected with the amount of taxes that are required to fill the budget.
On the other hand
, it does not deteriorate advantages that we are likely to witness in the long term perspective. I reckon that the lion's share of finances can be used to improve the situation with medicine in developing or even developed countries. Many people are struggling with coping with their general living conditions and the high value of medical services.
This
 could help these social groups obtain proper medical examinations. In summary, accessibility and low prices for each doctor visit totally outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by Darkhan Shalbayev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: