IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Computers have made the world a better place to live in. Do you agree or disagree?

Firstly
Linking Words
, I agree that
computers
Use synonyms
 have played
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
 in making our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 better.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, there
some
Verb problem
are some
show examples
 thoughts about
destroyed
Wrong verb form
the destructive
show examples
 impact on people's health. In my opinion,
computers
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
actually
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 us to develop the economy , save
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 by
seacking
Correct your spelling
seeking
 new ways to protect our planet , increase the amount of high-quality resources to make
ourselfs
Correct your spelling
ourselves
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confident
induvidual
Correct your spelling
individuals
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
. That
beind
Correct your spelling
being
 said
thought
Check wording
apply
show examples
,
computers
Use synonyms
influance
Correct your spelling
influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical activity by forcing people to stay at home
while
Linking Words
 working or playing . Personally, I would prefer to have a balance between the computer and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
life
Use synonyms
. So
this
Linking Words
 way you will be the self-developed healthy person, who takes responsibility for the quality of your entire
life
Use synonyms
.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, in the
last
Linking Words
 decades we must admit the huge progress in medicine , especially in the
menatal
Correct your spelling
mental
heath
Use the right word
health
show examples
 sphere. We shouldn't forget about technologies' growing
Check wording
technologies
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 us to learn faster and become more productive
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, I agree that
computers
Use synonyms
, being
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 thing in our
life
Use synonyms
, have made it
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 place for generations.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 they prevent us from degradation and self - destroyment.

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structure
State your view in one clear line at the start. Then tell why you think so.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, and, because.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Many mistakes stop the meaning from being clear.
content
Give one short example for each idea to make it strong.
structure
End with a short end that repeats your view.
content
The plan is clear: say yes to the topic and add ideas.
content
The essay has many ideas on work, health, and learning.
vocabulary
The writer uses simple words and tries to spread meaning.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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