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Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it causes problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age
It is argued that problems can happen if there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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permission for employees to
work
 after the age of 60. I agree with
this
 statement. Old folk tend to master new skills slower than the youngster,
therefore
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
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efficiency might decrease and they struggle to accommodate
for
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apply
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new conditions.
Firstly
, nowadays science and technology
develop
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development
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with
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at
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 an incredible pace that affected
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 process. Modern technological equipment is used on the enterprises and it is updated all the time.
Consequently
, employers require young
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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, who
manage
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manages
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 with innovative devices. It is obvious that the elderly do their
work
 slower than people at a young age. These days, it is essential
Change preposition
for that
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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to
Fix the infinitive
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carry out the duties fast and with
a the
Choose an article
a
the
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 relevant quality.
In addition
, the elderly often are conservative and they do not adopt
a new approaches
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new approach
new approaches
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. Young
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 are usually more open-minded
thus
 they are able to improve the
work
 process.
Secondly
, people who already should retail to continue to occupy the post,
hence
 unemployment grows. Young specialists, that graduate from university can not find a job related to their qualification because these positions are filled.
Subsequently
, the youngsters with high education do a job which doesn't suitable for their abilities. They can not afford to get experience which
Add a missing verb
is significant
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significant
Replace the word
signs
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 to look for relevant workplaces.
Thirdly
, Old
laborer
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laborers
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 more problems with health
that is
 why they
work
 less than young. They often take sick leave and distract a workflow. In conclusion, I am absolutely convinced that old people have to give opportunity young workers to have
a
Remove the article
apply
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suitable
work
. Young employees acquire knowledge and new skills faster than the elderly so they
work
 with greater efficiency.
Submitted by paramoshka24 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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