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Band 5

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Decision making is an important aspect of human life from birth to death bed. When considering childhood,various decisions are made by
children
Use synonyms
 which are right as well as wrong. The degree of freedom for
mistakes
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 that a child should be allowed has been a
long debated
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long-debated
show examples
 subject.
Body paragraph 1
In contrast
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, allowing
children
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 to make
mistakes
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 have several advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
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 ,one positive of allowing
mistakes
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 is that it allows
children
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 to learn and gain valuable experience.
Secondly
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 ,they become aware
of
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apply
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the continuously allowing
children
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 to make
mistakes
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 can
Change the verb form
result
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resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
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 them being addicted or face
life threatening
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life-threatening
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 situations. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example,if a child is
allowes
Correct your spelling
allowed
 to make errors on road,it can eventuality lead to serious accidents as well.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,total involvement of adults and blocking all
mistakes
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 from
children
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 could make them safe and improve
bond
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the bond
show examples
 between
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
 and
children
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 as well.
However
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,once the
children
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is
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are
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 set free
to
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from
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 society ,
then
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 they may find it difficult to face challenges on their own. Put it simply, they will be more
depended
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dependent
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 on their parents rather than being independent.
Moreover
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,
children
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 will lose the opportunity of learning through their
mistakes
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 when their parents block
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 from happening every time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, allowing
mistakes
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 can be a learning advantage for
children
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 while
limit
Add an article
the limit
show examples
 of those
mistakes
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 needed to be judged properly by an adult to ensure
safely
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safety
show examples
at
Change preposition
for
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 the child. In my opinion ,it should be both
mix
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mixes
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 of allowing and not allowing
mistakes
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 depending on the situation that makes a smart person in future.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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