Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

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Nowadays, there is a discourse surrounding
crime
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and societal implications that has generated significant interest in debate and concerns. The assertion that the most effective way to decrease the
crime
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rate is by giving extended imprisonment to
criminals
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is a subject of considerable discussion.
While
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advocates argue that giving longer imprisonment is the best way to reduce the
crime
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opponents believe there are more profound ways to prevent it.
This
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essay will outline both sides of view
along with
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my opinion. Undoubtedly, the primary reason for the community believing that
criminals
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should be punished for a longer period of time in jail is because of serious crimes committed by
criminals
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which should never be forgiven. To illustrate
this
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, it is not fair for the victims if their criminal who has murdered their loved ones and has caused severe damage to society has been sentenced for a shorter period and not a capital sentence.
Therefore
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, culprits who have done serious offences like terrorism, rape and murder should be in prison for the longest time to give justice to other people and to prevent recidivism.
On the other hand
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, some folks think that
criminals
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are
also
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human beings and can become better by taking a positive approach.
For instance
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, people who committed minor offences can be prevented from reconvicting
crime
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such
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as by developing reintegration programs.
Further
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to
this
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, rehabilitation programs can give a fair chance to those
criminals
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to get better and to develop useful skills that can be used in future once they finish their punishment in jail.
As a result
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, there will be a reduction in the tendency of reoccurring
crime
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.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, law authorities should take strict actions toward offenders by giving them longer or capital sentences that would set an example to create fear in humans thinking of convicting
crime
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.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task equally. The introduction sets up the debate well but could integrate a slightly more balanced emphasis on both sides of the argument.
task response
While your ideas are clearly presented, some arguments could be further developed with more specific examples to enhance your point. For instance, you mentioned rehabilitation programs but didn't provide specific instances or statistics about their success.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas with a variety of cohesive devices. Transitions such as 'further to this' or 'for instance' are good, but the repetitive use of simple structures can make the essay less fluid.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should develop a single main idea in a more structured way. Using topic sentences can make it easier to follow your argument and maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring that the reader understands your stance from the outset and its summary.
task response
You’ve done a good job of discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced consideration of different perspectives.
task response
The essay includes some relevant examples and points which strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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