IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others believe those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #design #buildings #cities #governments #finance #construction
In today's most developing and
fast growing
Add a hyphen
fast-growing
show examples
 world technology make building
construction
 easy and rapid. In regards
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
, half of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
, those big skyscrapers in cities should be constructed by the government authorities.
However
, other completely opposite and believed, it is monitoring responsibilities of
those
Change the determiner
that person
those people
show examples
person
 who making
building
Add an article
a building
the building
show examples
. While I find
this
 view of some people justifiable to some extent, I
also
 argue that
construction
 should be
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
controlled
Replace the word
control
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 by
person
Correct article usage
the person
show examples
 or company who
making
Change the form of the verb
made
show examples
 that building.
Firstly
, one convincing argument can be made that, government do not have enough time or money to controlled big buildings as they have a lot of work to do.
Additionally
, it means that, if
construction
 company spend their money on
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
, it is their responsibility to follow some
rules
 and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 about
construction
 as well as safety
rules
. Let's take Auckland City
Council
, as an example, They made some
rules
 about building
construction
 in CBD
such
 as certain level of
building
Add an article
the building
a building
show examples
, fire exit and more. Here,
more
Add an article
the more
show examples
 creative design comes if
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
person
 takes responsibility for making buildings. On the other side, it is
also
 undeniable that
council
Correct article usage
the council
show examples
 has some special
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 just
monitor
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monitors
show examples
 and approve building
structure
Fix the agreement mistake
structures
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
council
Add an article
the council
show examples
 have some specific type of
rules
 regarding developments which builder have to follow. The best
revelant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 instance, Christchurch City
council
, they made some
rules
 about high-rise buildings because of
earthquacks
Correct your spelling
earthquakes
 frequently. So
that's protect
Change the verb form
that protects
show examples
 all their citizens during evacuation.
Thus
, it can be concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 just have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to make some
rules
 that protect and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
harmful
Replace the word
harm
show examples
anyone
Change preposition
to anyone
show examples
.
Otherwise
, its
fully
Change the adverb
full
show examples
 responsibility of that finance company or
person
 whoever involving in
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of those kinds of
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 building
Submitted by hemant.patel1989 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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