IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cell #phones #work
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It is often argued that mobile
phones
 should be used exclusively for personal purposes, while others consider them to be used basically for
work
. While the production of
phones
 makes up a considerable part of the entertainment industry and the working sphere by gaining great popularity.
This
 essay will discuss both views and will draw my own opinion.  On the one hand, the cell phone is a multifunctional device that opens up a number of new features.
This
 tool is indispensable because absolutely everyone can find and develop themselves in any field of interest to them.
For instance
, the famous author of best-selling books, Leigh Bardugo, used to
work
 part-time as a make-up artist, but the application on the mobile phone played a significant role in
this
 success story.
On the other hand
,
phones
 are
also
 essential at
work
, as employees should always be in touch with both the employer and clients. When you have a phone at hand, you feel more confident, more productive and a lot of paperwork does not seem like a terrible dream. Two years ago, my mother's boss banned the use of cell
phones
 during working hours, but now when the ban has been eliminated, it has become much easier to
work
, because interaction with customers has been established. Taking everything into account,
although
phones
 are quite often used for different personal objectives, they are necessary for workers to improve performance. In my opinion, I believe that they should be used more in a balanced way both for
work
 and at home.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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