The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Obesity is one of the major threats to individuals’ lives. It is believed that it can be avoided with an incline in the physical education programs at schools
while
others oppose the idea. I tend to agree because sport can benefit young people’s wellbeing and encourage them to keep it as a habit for so long.
First of all, bounding exercises with scores at school
can have a devastating influence on students
’ outlook toward it. It is true that physical activities are crucial for every human being and it should not be counted as a school
subject to simply pass. Adding more hours
of sport to the school
curriculum as a compulsory course would leave detrimental
impression on Add an article
a detrimental
students
who are not talented in sports
and have difficulties participating. Their bad performance may cause lower grades that would eventually lead to hatred. So, it might be for
Change preposition
apply
the
best to explain the importance of exercising rather than adding more numeric values.
Correct article usage
apply
On the contrary
, extra physical hours
in school
programs lead to students
’ mental and physical development. In other words
, children join school
at a critical age and they go through physical and mental development during this
period. Their bodies change and their attitudes begin to form. For
this
reason, increasing the hours
students
spend in school
exercising can perfectly elicit the importance of sport for children and cultivate the idea of exercising for the rest of their lives. Also
, it is important to know that preventing obesity at a young age is much more effective than trying to cure it later. Additionally
, exercising can act as a significant environmental factor in children’s height and bone density that can affect their overall
BMI. So, as long as they get to do various sports
at school
, the probability of students
achieving their best physical genetics will increase and they may be more interested in building a life-long habit of exercising.
I think having more hours
of sports
at school
is beneficial for students
’ physical growth and it can provide them with the demanding environment they need for getting taller or building bone density and muscles which can ultimately assist them in staying fit and not getting overweight. Secondly
, it can create a habit of exercising for children to keep for the rest of their lives. However
it is essential to consider that Add a comma
However,
students
do not get overwhelmed with grades. Increasing the sports
hours
does not necessarily mean devoting it more grades, but it should only be implemented aiming at students
’ well-being.
In conclusion, even though adding to schools’ sports
programs can improve their physical health and avoid obesity in adulthood, we should allow them to enjoy the benefits of exercising without pressuring them about scores and assessments.Submitted by TUTOO on
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
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- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.