The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Obesity is one of the major threats to individuals’ lives. It is believed that it can be avoided with an incline in the physical education programs at schools
while
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others oppose the idea. I tend to agree because sport can benefit young people’s wellbeing and encourage them to keep it as a habit for so long. First of all, bounding exercises with scores at
school
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can have a devastating influence on
students
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’ outlook toward it. It is true that physical activities are crucial for every human being and it should not be counted as a
school
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subject to simply pass. Adding more
hours
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of sport to the
school
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curriculum as a compulsory course would leave
detrimental
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a detrimental
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impression on
students
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who are not talented in
sports
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and have difficulties participating. Their bad performance may cause lower grades that would eventually lead to hatred. So, it might be
for
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apply
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the
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apply
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best to explain the importance of exercising rather than adding more numeric values.
On the contrary
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, extra physical
hours
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in
school
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programs lead to
students
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’ mental and physical development.
In other words
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, children join
school
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at a critical age and they go through physical and mental development during
this
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period. Their bodies change and their attitudes begin to form.
For
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this
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reason, increasing the
hours
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students
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spend in
school
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exercising can perfectly elicit the importance of sport for children and cultivate the idea of exercising for the rest of their lives.
Also
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, it is important to know that preventing obesity at a young age is much more effective than trying to cure it later.
Additionally
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, exercising can act as a significant environmental factor in children’s height and bone density that can affect their
overall
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BMI. So, as long as they get to do various
sports
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at
school
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, the probability of
students
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achieving their best physical genetics will increase and they may be more interested in building a life-long habit of exercising. I think having more
hours
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of
sports
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at
school
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is beneficial for
students
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’ physical growth and it can provide them with the demanding environment they need for getting taller or building bone density and muscles which can ultimately assist them in staying fit and not getting overweight.
Secondly
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, it can create a habit of exercising for children to keep for the rest of their lives.
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However
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However,
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it is essential to consider that
students
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do not get overwhelmed with grades. Increasing the
sports
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hours
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does not necessarily mean devoting it more grades, but it should only be implemented aiming at
students
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’ well-being. In conclusion, even though adding to schools’
sports
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programs can improve their physical health and avoid obesity in adulthood, we should allow them to enjoy the benefits of exercising without pressuring them about scores and assessments.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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structure
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in organizing your ideas well.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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