doctors in many countries say that poeple do not do enough physical excercise. What are the causes of this trend. How can this situation be improved?

Nowadays, many proclaim that people are less concerned about workouts across the globe. I think that lack of awareness and season is the main issue behind
this
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causes
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cause
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and
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, and
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also
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the solution is that include the subject in the school curriculum and
discusses
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discuss
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withthe
Correct your spelling
with
the community to resolve
this
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problem more effectively.
To begin
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with, the plenty of
individual
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individuals
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does
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do
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not have vital information about the physical workout.
This
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is because they are always busy with their work
and
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, and
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also
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they are not paying attention to the fitness lesson.
This
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will lead to becoming careless about their well-being. As per the research, 35%of common
man's
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men
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usually are not considered about yoga and
another workout
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other workouts
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in their life.
Furthermore
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, a number of
persons
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people
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do not have sufficient time to focus on their strengths. As they may have lots of tasks which they have to complete in
limited
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a limited
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period.
Hence
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, they might
be
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stay
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slept late at night and not spend time on physical activities.
Moreover
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, the government should add a subject to the school syllabus. Because pupils will easily
get
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become
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aware
about
Change preposition
of
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how
Rephrase
apply
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the importance of physical training in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
Therefore
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, they will share with their parents and peers
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
this
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will bring a positive impact on the whole society. As per the newspaper report, in
the
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apply
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Findland
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Finland
,
this
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policy has brought significant results and
develop
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developed
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citizens
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citizens'
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fitness. Another
most
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apply
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important reason is that the government should organise meetings with the public and discuss with advantages of physical exercises
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such
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, such
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go
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as going
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for
walking
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a walk
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and yoga.
As a result
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,
common
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the common
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man's
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man
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will follow these suggestions and promote their energy.
To conclude
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, I think people
are
Verb problem
have
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less information and
not
Verb problem
do not
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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sufficient time in their
life
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lives
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is the main reason for
this
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situation.
However
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, spreading knowledge and teaching about performance is the easiest way to tackle
this
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hurdle.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main points you will discuss. This will help the reader to understand your essay better.
coherence cohesion
Try to use clearer connecting words between your ideas. This will help to flow your points better and make your argument stronger.
task response
Add specific examples to support your points. For example, use data or a specific story to demonstrate the lack of exercise.
task response
You have presented a clear problem and suggested solutions, which is good.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and you have clearly identified causes and solutions.

Your opinion

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