IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Examine the arguments in favour of and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#arguments #favour #experiments #conclusion
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This
 essay will
divide
Wrong verb form
be divided
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 into two parts which is the good and bad side of doing an experiment on animals. Wherewith, both sides will generate the reason following these paragraphs. On the good side. Nowadays, animal experiments are widely used for test medicine and cosmetic products because animal species are closest to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans. Certainly, chemical substances in the product are dangerous, so the scientist must analyze the chemical in the product on animals first to ensure that it is not harmful or has any bad reaction on humans. Of course, testing on the animal can indicate the allergic or poisonous substance in each person.
In addition
, research
in
Change preposition
on
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 other species can create a biological medicinal product,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 serum or antivenins from snakes, scorpions, and spiders.
On the other hand
, the bad side of using an animal for testing in the laboratory is it
oppose
Wrong verb form
is opposed
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 to morality. As I
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
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 earlier, some substances are dangerous,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 might create bad effects to make them suffer and lead to fatal.
According
to
Correct pronoun usage
to them
show examples
,
study
Verb problem
apply
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the
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
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 in living things can create negative effects on them, most people are against
this
 solution with the reason is animals have their own life do not
make
Verb problem
put
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 them in pain for human
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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 as a case using bee stings for meditation to release pain or stress in human.
Moreover
, when bees lose their sting can cause them to die. To summarize,
this
 topic has both advantages and disadvantages.
Hence
, people should acknowledge both sides
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can create many results,
thus
 you must respect others’ opinions.
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task response
The essay adequately addresses the key points on both sides of the argument regarding animal experimentation. However, the supporting arguments are slightly superficial and lack depth. It is important to elaborate on each point by providing specific examples and relevant evidence to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay presents a logical sequence of ideas, there is a need for improved coherence and cohesion. The transitions between paragraphs are not always clear, and the conclusion could be more succinct and impactful. Additionally, the introduction could better set the stage for the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • controversial
  • prevalence
  • scientific research
  • proponents
  • opponents
  • medical breakthroughs
  • vaccines
  • treatments
  • critical data
  • regulatory frameworks
  • ethical guidelines
  • minimize suffering
  • moral objections
  • animal rights
  • species differences
  • unreliable results
  • alternatives to animal testing
  • in vitro testing
  • computer modeling
  • volunteer microdosing
  • nuanced
  • complexity
  • weighing
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