IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Cycling has many benefits, yet in some countries , there is a decrease in the number of people using bicycles as their main form of transportation . Why is it happening? Give suggestions on how to encourage people to use bicycles again.

#countries #decrease #people #bicycles #form #transportation #suggestions
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Cycling has considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a main type of
transport
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 in many different countries due to its variety of benefits to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it can be visible that, the persons who are using the bicycles have been decreased in some countries as their main form of
transport
Use synonyms
. in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will provide reasons
as
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toas
show examples
 why is it happening and more important
suggessions
Correct your spelling
suggestions
 to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to use bicycles again.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 happens due to the advanced technology which has
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the
transport
Use synonyms
 sector and based on the
comfirtability
Correct your spelling
comfortability
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
for
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apply
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all the members
in
Change preposition
of
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 the family cannot have the advantage of using the
bicyle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 at the same time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, much more time will
required
Change the verb form
require
be required
show examples
 for the
transport
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 and it will be difficult in the busy life of
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, cycling
at
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under
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 adverse weather conditions will
also
Linking Words
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
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 negative impact on cycling.
However
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
reaerch
Correct your spelling
research
 held by World Health Organization reveals
tht
Correct your spelling
that
the
 60% of
people
Use synonyms
 who use cycling as the main
transport
Use synonyms
 method has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 illnesses than the others.
Therefore
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, it is because
of
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apply
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cycling will improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's health as it
burn
Change the verb form
burns
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 more calories.
Linking Words
Further
Add a comma
,Further
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 as it not required fuel to operate it gives
financially
Change the adverb
financial
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 benefits and as well as can be considered
as
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apply
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environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
 friendly.
Finally
Linking Words
, it can be concluded that it is much more important to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to use bicycles as it will increase the healthy lives of
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wsbsangeeth on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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