IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend

#people #hobby #trend
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It is true that shopping is now being considered more of a leisure activity than in past.
This
Linking Words
 approach is definitely affecting negatively
to
Change preposition
apply
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the present generations
Change the verb form
have
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has
Correct your spelling
as
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 they are
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
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 the realisation of
money
Use synonyms
 value and following
this
Linking Words
 trend to enhance their status among others.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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 era people are forgetting the value
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are leading a much better standard of living than their parents or grandparents without much of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,they have
an
Remove the article
apply
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easy access to financial resources
by
Change preposition
from
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 their parents .
This
Linking Words
 indulges them to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on unuseful and unnecessary things .
For instance
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, recent research on the 'Times of India' showed that
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
 of buying
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 mobile phone's has upsurged to 80% by the youth , irrespective of
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 their older phones are well functioning or not.
Moreover
Linking Words
, purchasing materialistic things have now become a status symbol for individuals .
This
Linking Words
 is because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 order to be recognised in a society, one is ought to follow the latest trends and fashions.
This
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
in turn
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inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
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 is providing
path
Add an article
a path
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 to a hollow and unrealistic lifestyle where people are spending huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 to just show off. To exemplify, If a
women
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woman
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 is carrying a handbag of Gucci or Armani brands which are too costly, she is considered to be rich by society, even if she has no financial stability. To conclude, I strongly believe that, nowadays buying of things has become more of an obstructive event than constructive because it is encouraging the people to lead a
show off
Add a hyphen
show-off
show examples
 life and disregarding the value of
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by joyveerbajaj on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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