Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Nowadays with the development of internet connections, each person can download and listen to any type of

music

without hesitation. Most

music

lovers, all over the world believe that

music

is a perfect method to make a strong relationship with different cultures. I strongly agree with

this

idea.

Music

is an international language

that is

not mandatory to be understood

Change preposition

show examples

the brain,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

it should be felt by the heart. A song contains melodies and notes which gives positive vibes and frequencies to a listener without knowing the words.

For instance

, the Korean’s

music

industry (KPOP) has

gets

Change the verb form

got

show examples

very popular in recent ten years. A boy group named BTS have a vast number of fans from different parts of the world who sing and dance with along them. To sum it up, any country like South Korea’s culture gets known with the help of the

music

industry.

On the other hand

, recent studies show the

music

is a new method of treatment used all around the world to help people to fight their diseases. With the help of

music

therapy which includes traditional songs of countries patients can be healed.

For example

, the Chinese traditional songs reduce back pain and stomachache in the treatment sessions. To summarize, thanks to

music

, each person is easily treated with help of different worldwide songs due to their sicknesses. In conclusion,

music

is a perfect way to connect people and help them to get friendly with each other’s culture. They can be fans of an artist or a patient of a hospital no matter what is their nation they connect by voice and sound. I definitely agree with

this

topic.

Submitted by farrinprad on Fri Sep 10 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, private companies spend more money on scientific research more than governments. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?