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Band 4.5

Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with co-workers, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #leisure #time #work #co-workers #life
Office
life
 is
one
 of the
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
life
 that took most of our 24 hours
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 weekdays.
Consequently
, it's
also
one
 of the
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 where we spent most of our social
interactions
.
This
 social interaction could not be limited to only professional
interactions
 but
also
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 casual
interactions
. Some
people
 allow both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interactions
intertwined
Change the verb form
to intertwine
show examples
 with each other, but some want to build a wall between them.
This
 essay will discuss both of the thinking and
also
 the advantages and disadvantages which come with them. For some
people
, hanging out with
co-workers
 is
one
 of the easiest
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to spend
after
Add a hyphen
after-work
show examples
work
 schedule. Making a plan with
people
 who are in the same building is
practicaly
Correct your spelling
practically
 easy and hustle free. We can pick the place and
time
 to go later in between
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
lunch
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
time
 or with the small discussion between
work
.
It's
Change the verb form
It also allows
show examples
also
 allow us to pick the
co-workers
 that we think have similar taste or idea of hanging out.
Moreover
, spending
time
 together
also
 giving us more advantages to get to know our colleagues in the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
This
 could make our bond with them stronger and
therefore
 will
also
 affect our professional relationship in a better way. Some other
people
 tend to believe that there must be a separation between
work
life
 and private
life
. I like to think
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 as a precaution of a problem that could
be appear
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
 when there is a clash between
co-workers
. The more we spent
time
 with our colleagues, the higher the chance of having some conflicts with them during the
interactions
.
Thus
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
limiting our
interactions
 outside the professional
one
 with them will give us
one
 less of a problem in the office.
In addition
 to that reason,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having
Add the particle
tohaving
show examples
 hang out
friends
Change preposition
with friends
show examples
 outside
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 will
also
 give us
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
 by broadening our social networking. Large social networking will give us more valuable
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 if we ever need to look
Change preposition
for another
show examples
another chances
Replace the adjective
another chance
other chances
show examples
 outside our current
work
life
. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of mixing our professional
life
 and private
life
 or
to separate
Change the verb form
separating
show examples
 them, both have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pros and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cons. So, we need to think carefully
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 to manage them in order to maximize the advantages that we could get in our daily
life
. I personally choose to separate them, because I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less conflict with
co-workers
 will bring me more peace in my professional
life
.
Submitted by wildan0503 on

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