IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime. Many people believe that installing CCTV cameras is the best way to prevent crimes from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #cctv #crimes
Many major cities across the world are increasing their usage of
surveillance
cameras
 as a crime deterrent.
Although
 some may object that
this
 intrudes on people's privacy, I believe that the benefits of utilizing video
cameras
 to increase
security
 surpass the downsides. When it comes to the disadvantages of employing
security
cameras
 to discourage crime, some individuals think that their personal freedom is interfered
upon
Change preposition
with
show examples
 because their activities are continually monitored by these devices. Images of their faces and movements will be captured and sent to
security
 organizations, ready to be analyzed if required, whether they are out on the street, at shopping malls, or at subway stations. Many individuals believe that
this
 is an invasion of privacy and that privacy is a right that should be appreciated in today's environment. Despite the aforementioned considerations, I feel that the benefits of
surveillance
cameras
 to our society surpass the disadvantages. Widespread
surveillance
 in public places will significantly reduce crime by discouraging potential criminals from participating in illegal acts when they are aware that
security
cameras
 are watching their every move. More video
cameras
 in public locations
also
 aid in the reduction of terrorist acts, since the data and pictures from these
cameras
 are utilized to detect odd actions of any people in public spaces.
This
 aids in the defense of society and offers a sense of safety and
security
 to its citizens. In conclusion, despite the notion that growing the usage of
surveillance
 camera systems will infringe on individual liberty, I would say that the
upperhand
Correct your spelling
upper and
upper hand
 overcomes the flaws of having
security
cameras
.
Submitted by trungtin.tran1102 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: