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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people have difficulty finding work that they enjoy doing. What are the reasons for this and what can people do to find enjoyable careers?

It is every person’s dream to have a fun
job
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 in their
life
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. These are
jobs
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people
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 have a desire to do and to invest their energy in, as much as 40 hours a week, often smiling and feeling positive while working. In
this
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way
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,way
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people
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 are more productive and enjoy a high quality of
life
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. I believe the reason
people
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 find it hard to pursue enjoyable careers is they lack
education
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 credentials,
job
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 opportunities, and financial incentives.
However
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, these hurdles can be overcome through higher-level academics and business growth. Fundamentally, many
people
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 dream of having
jobs
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are quite limited in availability and require a specific skill set that can be gained only through advanced
education
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.
In addition
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, they may feel that even with having
such
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 a
job
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 they cannot earn as much as they want. Certain high-end
jobs
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 are only one in a thousand and require at least a master degree and often a
Ph.D.
Change the punctuation
PhD
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 to be eligible. Even with
such
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jobs
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, in many countries, finances may still be challenging and
people
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 opt for
better paying
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better-paying
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work
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 that they may not like. In my case, in Cuba, it takes seven years of university to become a doctor and there are only 100 new
job
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 openings per year in
this
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 field, but a taxi driver can make more money commuting tourists to various destinations and there are thousands of available positions. These are definite challenges that need to be overcome for
people
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 to find
work
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 that they are excited about doing. Fortunately, there are ways that
people
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 can earn
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
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 that gives them a great deal of
life
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 satisfaction through continued
education
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 and business venture. Hardworking individuals can identify
work
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 that makes them feel happy and
then
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 pursue
such
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 a career by finishing university and having competitive skills to position themselves in their desired field. Once there, they can increase their revenue by ten-fold or more through building a company around their passion. In order for me to become a doctor in Cuba, I should finish medical school and
then
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 establish my own clinic in order to make more money and pursue my dream career. In
this
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 way, I can earn more than a taxi driver and be happy doing it. In conclusion,
people
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 most often have difficulties finding likeable
work
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 because of
low-pay
Correct your spelling
low pay
show examples
, availability and
education
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.
Nevertheless
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, through academic and business perseverance these challenges can be overcome. Ideally, for a truly fulfilling
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life
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,life
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 every person is passionate about the
work
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 they do on a daily basis.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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