Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents

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There has been an ongoing debate whether the

government

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or the

parents

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are accountable for

obesity

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in kids.

Fast

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Fast-food

show examples

food

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chains have been blooming,

therefore

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, it is undeniable that

government

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plays a role in

this

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cause.

Nonetheless

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, being the primary contact of the children,

parents

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are the

first

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defence against

this

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problem, which I firmly agree

Change preposition

with.

show examples

On the one hand, those who support the idea of

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government

Correct article usage

the government

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being responsible for children’s

obesity

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point to the increase in

promotion

Correct article usage

the promotion

show examples

of sweets and fast

food

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on television.

For example

Linking Words

, it should not be allowed to advertise unhealthy foods on kids’ channels.

Furthermore

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, the

government

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should

also

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implement a rule to ban junk

food

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at school canteens so that children cannot access behind

parents

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’ surveillance.

Finally

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, cheap and accessible fast

food

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is enhancing the ease of reach,

hence

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, higher taxes should be imposed on them which could lead to less frequent consumptions from consumers.

By contrast

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, people who agree that

parents

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are in charge of

obesity

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of their offspring, state that

parents

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should take the time to prepare nutritious

food

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for their kids.

For instance

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, preparing

home cooked

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home-cooked

show examples

lunch boxes is a good way to refrain children from purchasing fattening

food

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at school.

Additionally

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, educating of the consequences of consuming fast

food

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also

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ideal to discourage youths from taking a liking to it. As

Change the article

the

show examples

last

Linking Words

point, it is

also

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true that most kids prefer to spend their leisure time watching television or playing video games, involving little movements, which is why the guardians must encourage more physical activities for children’s physical health. To summarise, in my opinion, the stronger argument is in favour of the chances of

obesity

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belonging to the

parents

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, with all the factors of preparing meals and influencing to participate in physical movements. Without a doubt, the

government

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should

also

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be involved in deterring easy access to unhealthy

food

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by imposing higher taxes, banning junk

food

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commercials on children’s television channels, and refrain selling fast

food

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at canteens.

Submitted by chitsundi on Sat Sep 11 2021

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Few young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study and work in cities. What are the reason? do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, there has beeenan increase in the number of parents who are choosin to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?