Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

Nowadays, people are mainly
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
on the media to get
Add an article
an update
show examples
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
on their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
. No one can deny that
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
life of famous figures is a heavy topic across those platforms. I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
think that
this
excessive proportion is giving the readers more negative influences. In
this
essay, I will cover the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
my opinion. Heavy portions of the celebrities
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
which are covered in the media will give a lot of disadvantages for the readers.
First
of all,
this
imbalanced news will make the audiences less exposed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
any other important headlines.
For example
, the news of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
dangerous criminal activity in the magazine will not be red by them due to the article was placed in some corner of
a random pages
Correct the article-noun agreement
random pages
a random page
show examples
, while the story of a celebrity scandal was in all over the front page and some pages after that.
Secondly
, the massive coverage of
this
type
of story will lead to more exposure to the children.
Thus
, the children will obsess over them and take
this
public figure as a reference for their life without knowing which aspect is right and which one is wrong.
Lastly
, the imbalanced proportions of the news in the platforms will
then
lead to a shifting need of society for
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
For instance
, with the massive number of public figure stories, people will crave
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
type
of information more and think that the other
type
of topics
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
unimportant.
This
condition will lead to a
small minded
Add a hyphen
small-minded
show examples
society that could be dangerous because they are unaware
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
their surrounding
issues
Correct your spelling
tissues
show examples
. In summary, the dangerous unbalanced
type
of
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
magazines, televisions, newspapers, and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
will bring more
dissadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
, there are
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for the government to supervise more strictly the content of those platforms before they reach their audiences.
Submitted by wildan0503 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: