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Writing Samples
Band 8

If you could make two changes in the educational system of your country, what aspects would you change? Support your ideas with reasons and examples and discuss how the changes you suggest would improve the system.

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Introduction
In undeveloped
countries
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, compulsory
education
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 for their people is not supported by the
government
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.
On the other hand
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, in some developed
countries
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,
although
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 the
government
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 will provide compulsory
education
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, the educational system of their
countries
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 maybe not be good enough for the future in the present society. So
education
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 should be improved in all
countries
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, whether underdeveloped or developed.
Body paragraph 1
Nowadays, The
education
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 that citizens have to learn is called compulsory
education
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, which is provided by the
government
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 for free. But in the educational ,system there are two big problems that need to be dealt with.
First
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, the teachers have to teach their
students
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 equally and don't be biased on the poor
children
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 by comparing them with wealthy
children
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 because it will make bad experiences that affect their adult life.
For instance
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, if teachers agree with wealthy
children
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 too much, wealthy
children
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 may be misunderstood that they do the right things, causing poor
students
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 to be bullied by wealthy
students
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.
Body paragraph 2
Second
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, the quality of
education
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 in some schools is not as good as the quality is required by the
government
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.
Therefore
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, every school should have the same course to teach the
students
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 equally because it is not necessary for
children
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 to have to compete with other
children
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 to attend high-rank schools to get a good
education
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.
For example
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, if the poor
children
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 receive the same
education
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 as wealthy people, the opportunity to attend universities or get jobs will depend only on their attempt, not depend on the
education
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.
Conclusion
to conclude, if we can deal with the problems that I have mentioned above, the student bullying might be decreased and the quality of the
education
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 will be much better than the present being.

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