People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

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Development of communications
affect
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affects
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people
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to spend their free
time
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on computer or mobile phone more than others
activities
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,
in particular
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online and offline games, social media, and entertainment programs.
However
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, there are many reasons lead to believe that
people
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nowadays spend their free
time
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more activity than in the past through co-space and widely expanding
an information
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information
a piece of information
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from a social network. To start off, co-spaces nowadays are constructed on available areas, parks, or in buildings, these are placed in both rural and city where
people
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easily visit and take part in many
activities
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there. The co-spaces provide
wide
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a wide
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range of aged and type
activities
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such
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as cooking, artificial hiking, VR gaming, drawing, event swimming. These can convince
people
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to do much more
activities
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than in the past.
Furthermore
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, it is
new
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a new
the new
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era of communication.
People
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are able to access
to
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apply
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many
activities
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from the whole world through
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the internets
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internets
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internet
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and social
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media
show examples
medias
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media
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.
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These
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Theses
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These
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make
people
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want to try to copy or do
somethings
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something
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new as they have never seen
on
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in
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their countries, but already seen
from
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it from
show examples
Correct article usage
the internets
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internets
Fix the agreement mistake
Internet
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and social
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media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. For
examples
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example
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,
sketboard
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skateboard
keyboard
is
sport
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a sport
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that was
speaded
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speeded
suspended
from the west and it is popular nowadays as a free
time
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activity because famous
people
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recorded a video clip,
then
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post
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
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social
Correct your spelling
media
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medias
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media
show examples
. To sum up, I disagree that
people
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nowadays spent their free
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time
Correct your spelling
timeless
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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activities
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than on the past because there are co-space in every
areas
Change to a singular noun
area
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that provide varieties of
activities
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, and internet and social network convince
people
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to do more different
activities
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.
Submitted by kobkaew41 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • streaming movies
  • browsing social media
  • playing video games
  • digital entertainment
  • active pursuits
  • resurgence of interest
  • fitness trends
  • outdoor adventures
  • group sports
  • perception of time
  • connectivity requirements
  • passive activities
What to do next:
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