Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In our rapidly developing
world
, travelling from
one
part of the
world
to another has become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commonplace.
However
, considering its crucial benefits for the person`s development and
horizon broadening
Add a hyphen
horizon-broadening
show examples
, some
people
actively assert that it’s a time-consuming and wasteful activity.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while supporting the former
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
. Without a doubt, travelling can
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
me
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
a luxurious activity for many
people
. Especially it can be costly if
one
travels from a state to another, due to long distances. In developed and well-known countries like America,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
tend to spend thousands of dollars just to pay for their everyday living expenses, including hotel or apartment rent, food and visits to various city
Change the verb form
cite
show examples
cites
Correct your spelling
sites
show examples
. While
this
money might not seem much for American citizens, it is an average monthly salary for most
people
in developing countries.
Moreover
, time spent flying to
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
could be used in a more useful way.
For instance
, by spending time with family or by acquiring valuable knowledge.
Nevertheless
, the valuable benefits of travelling should be taken into account as well. Visiting new sites can make
people
`s monotonous life more colourful. When
one
is introduced to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
new culture, country or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
person, it immediately becomes a priceless life experience, as he or she starts seeing
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
world
from another view.
This
will eventually motivate them to see more places and meet more
people
;
therefore
make
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
show examples
connected to the
world
.
Moreover
, these journeys develop some vital characteristics and make
people
more adaptable to differences in cultures and nations. To conclude, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
travelling is an activity that requires a lot of resources and time, but it pays
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
as
one
gets to know about their surroundings and develop important life skills.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: