IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The presented table
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that in 2002, the which part of outcomes of these 5 countries
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 on 3 given items with
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Overall, expenditures of given countries for Food/ Drinks
/
Use synonyms
Tobacco is by far the most.
Conversely
Linking Words
, these nations allocated
negligible
Correct article usage
a negligible
show examples
 amount of their incomes for Leisure/ education. With regard to
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 and lowest proportion of expenditure for shown consumer items, Turkey dominated
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
, with 32.14% relating to Food/ Drinks
/
Use synonyms
Tobacco and 4.35% relating to Leisure/ education. The outlays of İreland and Sweden
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 mentioned category consisted of relatively 28.91%, 15.77% of their national expenditure whereas, they allocated lower money for Leisure/ Education which
account
Change the verb form
accounts
show examples
 for on average
3
Change preposition
of 3
show examples
%. Spain spent the least at 1.98% for
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, expenses for Clothing
/
Use synonyms
Footwear was between 9% in Italy and 5.40 % in Sweden. The rest of
countries
Correct article usage
the countries
show examples
 expended on average 6%.
Submitted by pirelif on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: