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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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Nowadays, many businesses use various ways to marketing their own
products
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. When they promote their
products
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, they usually emphasize their
product
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’s
novelty
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. It is
common
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a common
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 belief that
accentuate
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accentuates
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novelty
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 will have
negative
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a negative
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 impact on
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development
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the development
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 of their
products
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.
However
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, I firmly believe
this
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 is a positive
development
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.
To begin
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 with,
novelty
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 can bring a great profit. When
people
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 want to buy
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product
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the product
a product
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,
majority
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the majority
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people
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of people
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 are curious about and want to buy
the
Correct article usage
a
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product
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 with new features.
This
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curiousity
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curiosity
 will lead them to buy the
product
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 and
this
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 eventually let the
company
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 earn a
lot
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 of
money
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. The
company
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 can use
these
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this money
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money
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 on
investment
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an investment
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 for
another new
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another new product
other new products
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products
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.
For instance
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, Apple released their new laptop with
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 CPU called M1
last
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 year. Many
people
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 bought
this
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 with
a
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the
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 thought that
new
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a new
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 CPU will enhance their productivity. So
this
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 laptop became the best selling laptop in 2020 and Apple earned a
lot
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 of
money
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 from it. On top of that,
pursuiting
Correct your spelling
pursuing
 new
products
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makes
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make
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 the industry more develop and give consumers more options. If one
company
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 developed
new
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a new
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product
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, many
people
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 will expect a
lot
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 from it. In order not to fall behind, the
company
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 will try its best to keep developing another technology and
this
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 whole process will lead
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development
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the development
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 of the industry.
This
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 is beneficial for
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the consumer
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consumer
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consumers
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 because they have a variety of options to choose
.
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from.
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For example
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,
few
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a few
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 years ago Samsung launched their
folderable
Correct your spelling
foldable
 cellphone called Galaxy Flip. It was a huge breakthrough on the market. They earned a
lot
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 of
money
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 from it and invested
those
Change the determiner
that money
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money
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on
Change preposition
in
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 developing
another types
Replace the adjective
another type
other types
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 of
cellphone
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the cellphone
a cellphone
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.
Finally
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, they invented new types of
cell
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the cell
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 phone, which is
rollerable
Correct your spelling
tolerable
rollable
. Many other companies have
stimulated
Add a missing verb
been stimulated
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from
Change preposition
by
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this
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 and they
also
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 want to develop
new
Correct article usage
a new
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cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
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 with unique features. To sum up, because
novelty
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 can bring a great profit and lead the industry to
further
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development
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, so
is
Correct your spelling
its
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 clear that emphasizing
novelty
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 has a positive impact on the
company
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.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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