Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what level do you agree or disagree?
There is an argument that
,
small startups should prevent hiring single Remove the comma
apply
women
, due to
the fact that after starting their family, they might use their maternity leave, and it can have negative effects on the businesses' financial situation. I totalty
disagree with Correct your spelling
totally
statement
, as I believe that young Add an article
the statement
women
could bring innovative approaches to the job and such
probebility
is not enough for Correct your spelling
probability
this
unfair decision.
On the one hand, in some countries, paid maternity leave is around three years, and some small businesse
avoid recruiting young Correct your spelling
businesses
business
women
for just the probability of their pregnancy in the future,
because it might cause Remove the comma
apply
financial
Add an article
a financial
problem
for them, Fix the agreement mistake
problems
while
I believe it is not only ethical and agaist
human rights, but Correct your spelling
against
also
they surely losing some talented and determined person. As an
business owner, a huge number of young Change the article
a
women
are working in my company and they bring innovative, efficient and valuable solutions into
the job.
As Change preposition
to
an
young Change the article
a
women
, I believe there are several solutions for Correct the article-noun agreement
woman
such
unfair activity, Firstly
, the governments should take steps and invest in small businesses and help them in such
situations. Secondly
, women
should care about each other. For example
, I hired a lot of talented women
for my company as an
small step for Change the article
a
such
problem
. I believe that young Correct article usage
a problem
women
are as commited
as others in their job and the Correct your spelling
committed
probebility
of pregnancy should not deprive them Correct your spelling
probability
from
promotion.
In conclusion, despite the fact that some small businesses avoid recruiting young Change the preposition
of
women
to prevent paying maternity leave later on, I believe the governments are responsible and should take steps, and women
who are in charg
of hiring, need to be more Correct your spelling
charge
sensative
about younger Correct your spelling
sensitive
women
and value their ability the same as others.Submitted by rozakoohvand on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas by elaborating more on your arguments. This will help ensure that your points are fully developed and effectively communicated.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay with clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea that flows logically to the next. This can enhance the reader's understanding and the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively address the topic and encapsulate your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You've provided a clear expression of your disagreement with the statement, establishing your position early and maintaining it throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.