IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What reasons can be for lack of sleep? What can be done about lack of sleep?

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Sometimes you might know that your friends were really drowsy while they were working
however
Linking Words
 they were insomnia
on
Change preposition
apply
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late
night
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at night
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. Sleep insufficiency is the most dramatic problem due to it will affect your efficacy work. Sleeping pills are not the best way to solve it. The main reason
about
Change preposition
for
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of sleep is
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of sleep. Most
people
Use synonyms
 argue that focus on sleeping more than 10 hours per
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
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 will get their brain still function.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 was
misunderstanding
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a misunderstanding
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 because they were lying in bed
almost
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for almost
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 4 hours and 6 hours for getting in deep sleep.
People
Use synonyms
 should focus on
Use synonyms
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of sleep more than qualitative of sleep. There are many suggestions about how to getting
quality
Use synonyms
of
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apply
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sleep. Before
go
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going
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 to bed many things
people
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 should avoid
are do
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do
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 not drink caffeine, do not do heavy exercise and no noise and no light in
room
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the room
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 you sleep. Another point to mention is focusing on smartphones. Nowadays
people
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 are using a phone all the time They usually check it after
woke
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waking
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 up, while eating with friends, and before sleep. There are many things to do
in
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on
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 phones and it is interesting
for example
Linking Words
 sharing content for
public
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the public
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 with social media , watching
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a movie
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
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 on Netflix, playing games and Investment. These are disturbing your sleep. It is difficult to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem but you should try to manage your time and decrease using
Add an article
a smartphone
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smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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 before you go to sleep. In conclusion, lack of sleep
is affect
Change the verb form
affects
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 health problems and work efficacy. Good sleep
quality
Use synonyms
 and decrease using technology would help
people
Use synonyms
 sleep better. In the future, it would be a new innovation and product for improving sleep.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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