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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

some people argu that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentantion be justified?

#people #argu #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #experimentantion
There have been discussions about the use of
animals
 for testing purposes in order to achieve scientific discoveries. Some people are against the use of
animals
 to conduct
such
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 and
experiments
. To defend
this
 position it is being argued that
this
 practice is cruel to
animals
, which are not capable of agreeing or disagreeing in becoming a subject of a study which could lead to adverse effects. In fact,
such
experiments
 could make
animals
 suffer and even have them killed.
In other words
,
animals
 cannot think and act
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
humans
, and
therefore
, their participation in
such
 trials is not a matter of choice.
For example
, a mouse
that is
 kept in a laboratory could be used for many
experiments
 and could not defend itself nor oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that.
In contrast
, another group is in favour of
this
 practice as it
drive
Change the verb form
drives
show examples
 us to important discoveries and helps us to increase our knowledge. By
first
 experimenting on
animals
Add a comma
,animals
show examples
 we avoid using
humans
 as guinea pigs in an early stage of a trial. That means that we can have
researches
Change the verb form
researched
show examples
 in
Add an article
a
show examples
more controlled environment, as
animals
 are lock up, avoid mass contamination and
also
, we protect
humans
, as we only become subjects of
experiments
 that were successful in
animals
 trials. It is my opinion that the benefits of using
animals
 in experimentations surpass the downside
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, as we are protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans
Although
 I do not foresee any alternative to the use of
animals
, it is possible to regulate how and when
experiments
 can be conducted in order to avoid unnecessary suffering.
Submitted by tcchaves on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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