Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most of the time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development?

#people #ages #parts #world #time #home #development

The question of where to spend our free

time

has long been debated. Some people believe that staying indoors is the best use of their

time

, whereas others feel that engaging in outdoor

activities

are better. While the optimal use of free

time

is subjective, I think it is better to spend more

time

outside the

home

. It is easy to understand why many choose to relax at

home

nowadays. With the

ever increasing

Add a hyphen

ever-increasing

show examples

competition, numerous people work long and exhausting hours in order to ensure job security or

Remove the article

apply

show examples

promotion. When the working day is done, most would choose to return

home

and rest, rather than head out to play sports or meet friends.

This

is made even more attractive by the advances in entertainment technology, with most homes having a plethora of devices

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

help you unwind. From High Definition televisions to

next generation

Add a hyphen

next-generation

show examples

computer consoles, our homes offer a wide range of

activities

to help us pass the

time

. Even so, the reliance on technology as a way to relax is not without its consequences. Spending

time

home

doing sedentary

activities

will increase the risk of developing associated health problems,

such

as obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes.

Additionally

, using your computer as a means of communication and entertainment is likely to weaken the bonds you share with family, friends, and

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

, leading to

breakdown

Add an article

a breakdown

show examples

in social cohesion.

Activities

done

Add the auxiliary verb

are done

show examples

outside mitigate both of these potential risks, as light exercise will keep you in good health and social interactions strengthen the relationships we have with others while offering mutual enjoyment. While it is reasonable to want to spend

time

home

in order to recharge your batteries after a long day at work, it is important to make

time

for more social

activities

too.

This

will not only have a great effect on your social life but

also

improve your overall health and well-being.

Submitted by basakdiclesahin on Mon Sep 13 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most of the time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development?

Fully explain your ideas

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter -say who you are -give details about the accident -suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

young adults, compared with the of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environmental. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?