IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?

#children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
 are the future of the nation and how they should be raised, is a debatable issue. Some people believe that they should be exposed to physical punishment while others say constant appreciation is required for them. According to my, these arguments need proper scrutinization before forming an opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many advantages of conferring rewards to
children
Use synonyms
first
Linking Words
 of all, appreciation and verbal praise can have a magical impact on the
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of the
children
Use synonyms
 because when they are appreciated for good conduct they come to know about the value of good
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and try to keep continue with that. The more they brim with positive comments, the more they are confident.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 who are subjected to artificial physical punishment are seen to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
lack self-confidence. A survey conducted on the
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
 revealed that a child exposed to punitive actions by my parents are more aggressive and furious than others of his age.
Hence
Linking Words
 beatings to a child can never be fruitful.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there is no denying the fact that training the notorious and ferocious mind is a hard nut to crack because it is true that rod is the only logic for the fools.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
children
Use synonyms
 repeat mistakes even after being warned and punished,
this
Linking Words
 type of stubbornness forces parents and guardians to give them beatings. Needless to say, over-pampering may have an adverse effect on
children
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 present scenario, parents have one or two
children
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 pampering distract them away from their path. To conclude,
children
Use synonyms
 are the tender buds and nurturing them is really a major responsibility.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a fair judgment on
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is required for a good upbringing.
Submitted by mahen527 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: