IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

#people #choices
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of
coffee
 and tea consumption and buying habits in five different Australian cities,
such
 as Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide
 and
Hobart
. Overall, the majority of the Melbourne and
Hobart
people
 went to a café for having their drinks.
However
,
Add an article
the
show examples
fewer
amount
 of
people
 consume fresh
coffee
 according to the survey details.
To begin
 with, the majority
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 went to a
coffee
 shop
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 drinks in Melbourne and
Hobart
. It was accounted for about 63%. The fever
amount
 of residents enjoy throughout a café in
Adelaide
, while it was approximately 49%.
In addition
, half of the population have in
Hobart
 instant
coffee
, it was around 54%.
Adelaide
 was
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only city more
people
 preferred
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instant
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
.
Finally
, the less
amount
 of
people
 preferred to consume fresh
coffee
 rather than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two habits.
The
Change the article
A
show examples
 large number of
people
were drink
Change the verb form
were drinking
were drunk
show examples
 fresh in Sydney and it was 44%. In Brisbane and
Adelaide
Add a comma
,Adelaide
show examples
 the fresh
coffee
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
amount
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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