IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

#people #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumption and buying habits in five different Australian cities,
such
Linking Words
 as Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and
Hobart
Use synonyms
. Overall, the majority of the Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 went to a café for having their drinks.
However
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the
show examples
fewer
amount
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 consume fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 according to the survey details.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the majority
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 went to a
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 drinks in Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
. It was accounted for about 63%. The fever
amount
Use synonyms
 of residents enjoy throughout a café in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, while it was approximately 49%.
In addition
Linking Words
, half of the population have in
Hobart
Use synonyms
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, it was around 54%.
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 was
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only city more
people
Use synonyms
 preferred
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instant
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the less
amount
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to consume fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 rather than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two habits.
The
Change the article
A
show examples
 large number of
people
Use synonyms
were drink
Change the verb form
were drinking
were drunk
show examples
 fresh in Sydney and it was 44%. In Brisbane and
Use synonyms
Adelaide
Add a comma
,Adelaide
show examples
 the fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Test Mode on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: