IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others think that there are better ways to show that we care about them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is well known
all
Correct word choice
that all
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 like to receive gifts.
However
Linking Words
, when it
gets
Verb problem
comes
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 to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care of
others
Punctuation problem
others,
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 they tend to lag
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
abondon
Correct your spelling
abandon
 their duty to pay them back. I would call it reciprocity, so you treat your relatives the way they
do to
Verb problem
treat
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 you
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is understandable and fair. Gifts could be tangible or intangible, whether it is
commodity
Correct article usage
a commodity
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 or
service
Correct article usage
a service
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 doesn't matter. What matters is attitude, dedication, time spent together, usefulness and helpfulness of their deeds.
They
Use the right word
The
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 way you contribute to
build
Wrong verb form
building
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 a relationship plays a pivotal role
to build
Change preposition
in building
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 long-lasting
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 to keep strong bonds throughout decades. I consider
to give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 back to the person who made me happy at one point in time with the same token of appreciation.
For instance
Linking Words
, if they purchased me a nice commodity worth
Correct article usage
a couples
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couples
Fix the agreement mistake
couple
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hundred
Change preposition
of hundred
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 dollars, I am enthusiastic to give it back and show respect by making a person happy with
long-awaited
Correct article usage
a long-awaited
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 item from
wishlist
Correct pronoun usage
their wishlist
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similar
Change preposition
of similar
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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value.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people may give you a hand when you are desperate or by helping when you need it the most, or may provide
with
Correct pronoun usage
you with
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 an opportunity no money could buy.
For example
Linking Words
, it may be access to some sort of enclosed spot,
special
Correct article usage
a special
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 event held once in a lifetime, climb
together with
Linking Words
 you to find an enticing view
on
Change preposition
at
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 the top of the mountain
tip
Check wording
apply
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. Taking all thoughts into consideration, I would have to say no matter what you choose
-
Punctuation problem
,
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 just take care of the
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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 who surround you, your family, your close
realtives
Correct your spelling
relatives
all
Punctuation problem
, all
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 the time. I do recall there was a saying: 'Life is what you add to the river - not what you get out of it'. I am leaning more towards giving gifts when I can to make one happy, to show my appreciation, to let them know how valuable they are to me.

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task response
Be clear in the start. Say your main view in the first lines. Then add ideas and facts to back it up. Do not switch ideas in the middle.
coherence and cohesion
Make the body in two or three clear parts. Each part should have one idea and a small example. Use simple link words like first, next, also, but, so, however to help flow.
task response
Use one easy example that shows your point. Try to link it to your view with a short sentence.
writing style
Use shorter sentences. Short lines are easier to read and understand.
content
You show you want to talk about both sides.
content
You give your own view at the end.
content
You try to add an example and idea of care.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tangible symbols
  • Affection
  • Materialism
  • Cultural traditions
  • Impact
  • Relationships
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service
  • Communication
  • Shared experiences
  • Equating
  • Emotional presence
  • Physical presence
  • Material possessions
What to do next:
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