IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?

#people #work #time #employers #life
In today's ever-changing world, a number of
people
 are obliged to
work
 much more
time
, and these
people
 sense more tension in recent days compared to before. I believe that there are two main reasons associated with
this
 problem, and
also
 two remedies we can adopt.
To begin
 with, bullying by management seems to be the predominant factor in
this
 problem. It is a clear fact that
people
 who
work
 a long
time
 have a variety of
projects
 needing to be done urgently because the managers of these
people
 generally give unrealistic deadlines in order to be completed these
projects
 which causes them to
work
 excessively.
For instance
, according to several experts, there is a strong link between the number of
projects
 and the among of
work
 hours. What's more,
people
 prefer to
work
 a long
time
 in order to earn much more money because it prevents these
people
 from facing any financial problem.
Therefore
, the living standards of these
people
 are remarkably higher than others. Turning to possible solutions, decreasing the number of
projects
 or give reasonable deadlines is a wonderful solution for labouring too much
time
 because
people
 not only do not have to
work
 excessively, and can perform high-quality
projects
.
In addition
, the government should put a check on all goods and products which is used in order to live in an effective way, and it ought to punish all industries that fail to comply with
this
 control.
Thus
,
people
 do not encounter various financial problems. In brief, there are a variety of solutions to stop working for a long
time
. To summarize, bullying by management and earning much more money are the underlying reasons for working much more
time
, and the solution should involve coordinated action by the state, individuals and corporations.
Submitted by atasf2012 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: