IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rates #fall #advances #technology #crimes
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Crime
Use synonyms
 rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extend do you agree or disagree? These days,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advance in technology has brought a great many opportunities in criminal detection. A majority
people
Change preposition
of people
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 consider that
this
Linking Words
 technological advancement has resulted in the reduction of
crime
Use synonyms
 rates and I totally embrace
this
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 concept due to two significant reasons which will be enlightened in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
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 with, the
first
Linking Words
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 a dramatic decline in
crime
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 rates is the massive monitoring system. To be more precise, the installation of CCTV security cameras across cities enables
law
Use synonyms
 enforcement authorities to track the lawbreakers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, owing to the motion-activated digital cameras at home, one can easily detect the culprit wherever or whenever he\she is, with the help of smart gadgets which are connected to these cameras through the internet.
As a result
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, offenders try to avoid
to abuse
Change the verb form
abusing
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 the
law
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 under
such
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surveillance
Correct article usage
a surveillance
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 system.
This
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 is proven by the
crime
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 statistics which showed that the figure for the
crime
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 rate is lower than those in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 decade.
Therefore
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, the belief that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological progress has
reduce
Change the verb form
reduced
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 the occurrence of breaking
Use synonyms
law
Add an article
the law
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, is acceptable. Another reason
of
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apply
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why I support
this
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 notion is the progress in
social
Correct article usage
the social
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 networking system. To be more clearer, with a click of a button it is quite easier to spread information about offenders
in
Change preposition
on
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 social networks
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Whatsapp, Youtube or Telegram and through
this
Linking Words
 way it is highly possible to find criminals in no time
accordingly
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.
Besides
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, when citizens are informed about illegal activities like murder, robbery or
assaulting
Replace the word
assault
show examples
 via social sites, they will start to seek
for
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apply
show examples
preventive measures which, itself can
also
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 curb
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
law breaking
Add a hyphen
law-breaking
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 activities. The evidence from criminal data
,
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apply
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 stated that the prompt awareness of citizens about illegal activities has resulted in a reduced rate of crimes.
Thus
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, because the enhancements in social networking have a great many contributions in declining the rate of lawbreaking, it is hard to deny
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 aforementioned belief. In conclusion, I strongly believe that through developments in modern technology including in surveillance and social networking systems, the pace of crimes has witnessed a significant fall in the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
Submitted by nodirbekmsh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • high-tech surveillance
  • facial recognition systems
  • omnipresence
  • deter
  • digital forensics
  • ballistic testing
  • revolutionize
  • exonerate
  • root causes
  • social inequality
  • invasion of privacy
  • civil liberties
  • surveillance
  • data collection
  • negative implications
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • identity theft
  • online fraud
  • cybersecurity
  • vulnerabilities
  • exploit
What to do next:
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