IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #media #lives
The advent of new technology has brought a great many opportunities to spread
news
 not only locally but
also
 globally. Despite the fact that many
people
 consider that the press
media
 has an adverse impact on individuals' lives, I hardly support
this
 notion as it provides safety and wellbeing of
people
.
To begin
 with, nobody can deny that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news
 sources play an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 providing
security
Correct article usage
the security
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 mankind. Spreading
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 about criminals
such
 as robbery, murder or kidnapping , the mass
media
 raises the cautiousness of society.
Furthermore
, having informed natural calamities like
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
,
storm
Fix the agreement mistake
storms
show examples
, flooding, tsunami or others,
people
 start to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
preventive measures,
This
 is proven by statistics that showed a larger percentage of
people
 's lives and properties were saved due to the Weather forecasts.
Thus
, the
media
news
 have
Add an article
a contribution
show examples
contribution
Replace the word
contributed
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
 of humankind.
Moreover
, another essential contribution of the daily
news
 is promoting
welfare
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the welfare
show examples
 of the public. Because it is hard to accept that ordinary citizens are likely to meet official authorities
such
 as
president
Correct article usage
the president
show examples
, political leaders or others, the
news
 channels and newspapers are the main tools for delivering messages about citizen's
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 or difficulties to appropriate authorities.
For example
, in my home
country
Add a comma
,country
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 many
ordinary
Change to a plural noun
ordinaries
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 receiving supports from the government
as a result
 of social networking bloggers' actions.
Therefore
, the
media
 is one of the stimulator
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 for
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
 of
people
's quality of life. In conclusion, I reiterate the importance of the
news
media
 for society in terms of security and
promotion
Correct article usage
the promotion
show examples
 of wellbeing.
Submitted by nodirbekmsh on

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