In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers

Crimes

committed by teenagers is a burning issue. It has increased at an alarming rate. A high

ration

Correct your spelling

ratio

show examples

crimes

committed

are

Change the verb form

show examples

by young people in many countries. Apparently, modernization and westernization are to be blamed for

this

phenomenon.

However

, it can be reduced if precautionary measures are taken appropriately. To commence with, the two main factors for

this

kind of heinous

crimes

are circumstances they are grown as

child

Add an article

a child

show examples

and the other is Impact of movies.

Firstly

, young people

behavior

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behaviour

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is developed from childhood with the situations they grow up with, as they give

major

Add an article

a major

show examples

impact on their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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resulting in rude

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For instance

, according to a study the number of youth convicts got interviewed because to know the reason behind their act of crime, resulting in

ill treatment

Add a hyphen

ill-treatment

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and

child

abuse to them by their parents.

Secondly

, movies

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

will have

major

Add an article

a major

show examples

impact on viewers especially adolescent minds, and they started to portray criminals as

hero’s

Change the noun form

heroes

hero

show examples

Thus

youth

Add an article

the youth

show examples

got diverted and directed in a wrong way and started to behave indecently and are started to commit

crimes

as similar in movie characters imagining them as

hero’s

Change the noun form

heroes

hero

show examples

On the other hand

, the potential way to curb

this

is to bring awareness about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

child

abuse. Government should take appropriate actions to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

child

abuse by implementing strict laws.

For instance

, Dubai has strict penalties and punishment of 6 months jail time for

child abusing

Add a hyphen

child-abusing

show examples

parents.

Secondly

, similar

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show examples

sensor

Correct article usage

the sensor

show examples

board, there should be another board to scrutiny the characters of the movies so that they will stop portraying the criminal characters as lead roles. In conclusion, society along with

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should take steps to prevent

this

problem from deteriorating

further

. Even with some

changes

Add a comma

,changes

show examples

permanent solution for

this

problem is still out of reach.

Submitted by podilisrikanth93 on Wed Sep 15 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?