Most People today prefer to socialize online rather that spending time with their friends in the local community. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is irrefutable that in the contemporary era, it is a tendency for
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to socialize online
eventhough
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even though

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they have
a
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apply

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time to meet
domestic
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a domestic

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crowd and mutual friends. I,
Linking Words

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however
Add the comma(s)
,however

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter however. Consider adding the comma(s).

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deem that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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of
extroward
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toward

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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh

The word outweight is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

online time spending with
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To commence with, There are some pros why Communities who are in
current
Add an article
a current

The noun phrase current generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation like to connect online with
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It is not only very
conviniant
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convenient

The word conviniant is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and comfortable but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the various kind of
personalites
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personalities
personality

The word personalites is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

encounter with each other, they
gives
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give

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb gives are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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a plethora of positive things,
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Some time hard for
international
Add an article
the international

The noun phrase international community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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community to meet face to face so for them they prefer online.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Online is
fast
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a fast

The noun phrase fast flow seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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flow of knowing
eachother
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each other

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due to that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are updated with day to day life of their friends. Altogether, These are viable reasons we can not ignore. On the paradoxical side, there are many drawbacks as well, Sometimes individuals can not help via
vertual
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virtual

The word vertual is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

contect
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contact
content

The word contect is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

so there might be
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance

The noun phrase chance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to
sufure
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suffer

The word sufure is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

from some serious incident, as a repercussion
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

try to restrict
themselve
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themselves

The word themselve is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

to share their feelings with their mutual nurtures. Another, In order to
getting
Change the verb
get

It appears that the verb getting should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following In order. Consider changing the verb form.

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comfortzone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone

The word comfortzone is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

quickly
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
humen
Correct your spelling
human

The word humen is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

psychology to become socialize offline. To
examplify
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exemplify

The word examplify is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, research
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states

It seems that state may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that after
booming
Correct article usage
the booming

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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of online
socialisum
Correct your spelling
socialism

The word socialisum is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

20% of
internation
Correct your spelling
international

The word internation is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

folks opine that it is
a
Change the article
apply

It appears that the article a is unnecessary before the adjective hard. Consider making a change.

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hard to trust sometimes on their close mate due to lack of trust and bonding, So, these are demerits we can not keep away. In recapitulation, I would like to reiterate that though through Socialize online with their colleague have some merits, the disadvantages are far too many to be ignored.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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