IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society?

#countries #parents #children #time #school #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some people
students
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 should learn as much as possible
ratherthan
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rather than
 waste
time
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 for other activities. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
 it would
creative
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create
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 numerous merits than demerits. I will explain both
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
 and cons to prove my
perspection
Correct your spelling
perspective
.
First
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 and foremost,education is significant to enhance the
knowledge
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 which is essential .
students
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 has to spend more
time
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 for
studies
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 it would help them to acquire more academic
knowledge
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 that should pivotal to achieve more marks in examinations.For evidence, for admission in university majority of colleges prefer
students
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 who
has
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have
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 achieved good marks in academic after completing
course
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the course
a course
show examples
 with the
knowledge
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students
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 can find a job which gives attractive salaries it would bright their future.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,schooling is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial period for
studies
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.children Do not have any other things to worry their primary responsibility should be
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
 academics. So it would make them more capable to focus in a particular arena. The
students
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 who
has
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have
show examples
 more
knowledge
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 would
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be the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 asset for society.
However
Linking Words
 ,continuous
studies
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 would
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create
show examples
creat
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create
show examples
 many consequences. Children should miss the
chances
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chance
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 find
time
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 for
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 and other activities which affect their physical and mental health.
moreover
Linking Words
 ,
invention
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the invention
an invention
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 of new technologies
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
create
 more way for
studies
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therefore
Linking Words
student
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the student
show examples
 has to spend
time
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 in front of
laptop
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the laptop
a laptop
show examples
 for their study purposes. It leads
several
Change preposition
to several
show examples
 health issues. To conclude,
studies
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 should be pivotal for
students
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 whereas they have to
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find
show examples
fine
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
 some
time
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 for other activities
also
Linking Words
.
student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 should not spend the whole day for
studies
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however
Linking Words
 their primary responsibility
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
be learn
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 books.
Submitted by Shalushiva6582 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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