IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?

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It is indeed a fact that watching
television
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 is a method of learning effectively for youngsters which is why it is often believed that young ones should have an exposure of
television
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 both at
school
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 as well as
home
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. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons for my disagreement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the other imperative
skills
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such
Linking Words
 as speaking, writing, and motor
skills
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 are highly compromised by the exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
television
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 at
school
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 and
home
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. It means by watching
television
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 regularly, the learning of a child will only be limited to what has been telecasted in the program he is watching and there will be least or no time devoted for other
indespensible
Correct your spelling
indispensable
skills
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 which are
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
 at schools.
for instance
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, children may appear
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
 efficiently by memorizing rhymes,
however
Linking Words
, they just memorize it which can not be called
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
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effective learning because logically there is no learning and just memorization.
Secondly
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, exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
television
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 both at
school
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 as well as a
home
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 becomes a long duration spent in front of screens which impacts eyes.
This
Linking Words
 is because
television
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 has a bright screen that if viewed for a longer duration impacts eyesight.
In addition
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, watching it for the learning perspective at
home
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 as well as schools can result in some severe concerns in young ones.
For instance
Linking Words
,
longer
Replace the word
long
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 hours spent in front of screens results in sleeplessness as well as headaches. These minor concerns are often overlooked at a tender age and become a serious issue in subsequent life.
Therefore
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,
although
Linking Words
 young ones may learn effectively by viewing
television
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 throughout their day, it can impact their health. Conclusively, watching tv both at
school
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 as well as
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home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 is might be fruitful from the learning perspective,
however
Linking Words
, other essential
skills
Use synonyms
 taught at schools as well as mental health are highly compromised.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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