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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development？

#countries #success #facilities #train #athletes #sports #development？
Many
people
 argue that nations can obtain higher achievements international in sport's competitions if they invest in venues aimed solely for the use of elite
sports
 competitors. I believe that
this
 is not a good practice for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 will not have
access
 to
such
 facilities .
Firstly
, it
is wildly acknowledge
Change the verb form
is wildly acknowledged
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 that doing physical exercises are very important to maintain
a
Remove the article
apply
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good health.
Thus
, even if only in order to reduce costs allocated to the health system, governments should
incentivate
Correct your spelling
incentivize
incentivise
 and create tools to allow their
population
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
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 exercises. One way to achieve
such
goal
Correct article usage
a goal
show examples
 is to offer
access
 to
sports
 facilities, as using
such
 specialized places will certainly motivate more
people
 to practice a sport.
For example
, for
Correct your spelling
playing
show examples
paying
Correct your spelling
playing
show examples
 tennis, a tennis court is required. In the same
away
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
, to play soccer, it is necessary to have a soccer field.
Secondly
, by granting
access
 to
such
 venues to the
population
 in general, the chances of developing a greater number of top athletes
also
 increase. Obviously, before becoming top athletes, those individuals had to train and exercise a lot.
Also
, by restricting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access
, the vast majority of the
population
 would be barred to enjoy those places paid
and
Change preposition
for and
show examples
 supported by the taxpayers. To conclude, it is my opinion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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restricting the use of
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 from the general
population
 has a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, as a great number of
people
 will simply do not be able to play a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
large number of
sports
 that requires
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 special infrastructure.
Submitted by tcchaves on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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