IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

in some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extent do you agree or disagree whit this opinion.

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In certain countries,
exessive
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excessive
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 fast
food
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 consumption has affected the lives of many
people
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 as it is the cause of
health
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 problems. For the government to impose a higher
tax
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 on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 is crucial. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there are some alternative policies that may
also
Linking Words
 steer
people
Use synonyms
 away from
Correct your spelling
excessive
show examples
exessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
show examples
 fast
food
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 consumption. many diseases, obesity, diabetes, and
hypertention
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hypertension
, occur in bad-eating behaviour
thus
Linking Words
 coercive measures to impose the
tax
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 junk
food
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 are accepted whether it has effective and is worth managing the increasing number of consumers.
First
Linking Words
, it makes fast
food
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 less desirable as higher
tax
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 means higher
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 prices. To illustrate, most
people
Use synonyms
, including workers and
syudents
Correct your spelling
students
, have limited lunch budgets.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the state can use
this
Linking Words
tax
Use synonyms
 to promote other
health
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 policies due to the increase in
reveneu
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revenue
revenues
 from
this
Linking Words
 extra rate can fund
health
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-related
campaingns
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campaigns
such
Linking Words
 as extra support or benefits for restaurants that serve
health
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 dishes, may get
tax
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 exemptions or may be able to apply for a business loan from a
stste
Correct your spelling
state
- owned bank.
In addition
Linking Words
, here are some policies which may
also
Linking Words
 steer
people
Use synonyms
 from
Correct your spelling
excessive
show examples
exessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
show examples
unhealth
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should use other measurement tools and create
a statistical models
Correct the article-noun agreement
a statistical model
statistical models
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as educate
people
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 on healthy products and unhealthy products and implement programs to help young citizens familiarize themselves with a healthy diet.
Citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
Citizens
show examples
 should be educated on the
health
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 benefits as well as potential dangers that come with
food
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.
For example
Linking Words
, once
people
Use synonyms
 have been
thorouhly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
thorough
, they can choose for themselves and unhealthy
food
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 may cause them to have serious
health
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 problems, which will surely incur unnecessary expense. to sum up, using the policy of
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
tax
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 of fast
food
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 is important but the
citizen
Replace the word
city
show examples
 should use others measures to combine for the maximum benefit of the consumers.

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